When meeting is cute…in an elevator

To continue this lovely series, let me share another real-life “meet cute” that I experienced recently.

I was on my way into work wearing a florescent orange pleated skirt. It was not my normal work outfit, but I had a swanky happy hour to attend later and needed to look as “trendy young urban professional” as possible. The men in my building stepped aside to let another lady and I enter the elevator in front of them (standard procedure for all Midwestern men, and one of the many reasons I love them so). It wasn't until the elevator started to ascend that I noticed a tall, dark and handsome figure standing in front of me.

Maybe it was the orange skirt, or Rihanna’s voice still blaring in my ears, but I was feeling bold. I continued to stare at the gentleman until he suddenly turned around. Rather than look away, I held my gaze and smiled. He quickly turned to face forward again, but seconds later he glanced back with a smile of his own….*BING* it was my floor. I stepped off, expecting never to see him again and with the odd sensation that I'd just been part of a real-life Crest commercial...

The day goes by as usual. Then around 4 p.m. I get an excited call from my adorable secretary –

“Hello?”
“Bonnie are you wearing an orange skirt today?”
“…Yes I am, why?”
“I thought so, come here you gotta see this”

I walk to the front desk feeling somewhat apprehensive at this point. Apparently, Elevator Man had just stopped by. He told our secretary that I (the girl in the orange skirt) dropped something on the elevator and he needed to return it to me. Turns out the item I “dropped” was a note from him saying: 

May I take you to lunch sometime? (phone number) –Guy from the elevator this morning.

So that's my story. I hope it encourages all of you to stay open to every possibility, SMILE and always remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L-Fr0MK02k

Hey drunk friend, please stop talking!

Some time or another, we all meet a guy who we really like.  They are funny, enjoyable to be around, they might engage in gossip with you or talk shit about that person over there who you hate.  It’s like you finally have that gay best friend, minus the gay part. This is the beginning of beautiful friendship!  You know, those beautiful friendships between a guy and a girl always end so well.  Then there is the moment where this guy develops a crush on you and your glowing personality.

This just happened to me.  I have been playing dumb for weeks.  You know, I can tell you like me but I’ll pretend I don’t notice because I like where this friendship is going.  I mean I really like you as a friend, as a comrade, as an amigo (if you are Spanish speaking).  But I am not looking to jump face first into your pants, and I definitely do NOT want to go on a date with you.

All of this pretending was working out splendidly until last weekend.  When that one friend got a little too drunk and when that guy tells her that he likes me, that one friend drunkenly slurs, “YEAH, you should go for it! Make out with her!

I ran to hide in the bathroom.  

The next morning, too drunk friend proceeds to excitedly exclaim, “I think I told X that he should go for it, I totally made it worse didn’t I?”

The lesson to be learned here is to be a smart friend.  Make sure you know who your friends like.  That’s not too hard, right?  And if you know for a fact that your friend does not like this poor boy who she does really like as a FRIEND, don’t tell him the opposite, just because you are drunk and loving life.

So I will continue to play dumb, while my other friends pick up the pieces, making sure to tell him about that other boy I actually really do like.

And hopefully next weekend we will all just be really drunk again, because that solves everything, right?

Double texting is not your friend.

You know that feeling you get after you have double or triple texted someone. Where you feel like you are glued to your phone to see what their response is. You're unable to concentrate on anything, you want to die, punch someone or even worse text "nvm. just ignore my last 17 messages." Do boys get that feeling? Or do they just text until their bored and forget about you, pass out or find some other girl to answer their texts.

Is it wrong that I'm so bad at being passive aggressive and hate being angry that I want to text my boyfriend back, even though I'm still somewhat hurt and extremely irritated, and know deep down he's probably only texting me to give me a taste of my own medicine - that sickly sweet double texting medicine? I want to just put him out of his misery because I know that's all I want when I'm the excessive texter culprit.

But I don't even know if they get that feeling. So how long is long enough to get across the message that you're mad and you're not going to let someone be mean to you constantly, but you still want to stay together?

It's been 20 minutes. Is 30 minutes long enough? Should I wait an hour? If I figure it out, I'll definitely let you know.

In the meantime, just know double texting is never a good thing unless you need to correct an embarrassing autocorrect or a typo. Even if you don't correct it, they're bound to text back "what?" if it doesn't make sense and then you don't seem like a psycho. Boys are different when it comes to communication, unlike girls who are waiting around for someone to say something, anything to them, boys won't even notice their phone is going off. The only way to win is to play the game their way, which is easier said than done.