I know this title sounds like a cheesy New Year’s resolution, but hear me out. If you are like me, you may tend to read very deeply into the words and actions of the men you are seeing. Even when I actively try and avoid doing this, my mind tends to re-run the “highlight reel” of a previous date in my head for days to come until I am attaching an absurd significance to things – i.e. taking “What is your favorite band?” for “I am really interested in getting to know you as a person and want to know your life story and am not at all just fishing for another question to ask in order to avoid an unbearable awkward pause in conversation….” Not crazy. I promise.
But just as make-up artists will tell you to step back from the mirror to get a sense of how a look is coming together, we must also take a step back from the nitty-gritty details of our relationships in order to better understand what is going on from as objective a point-of-view as we can muster. Yes he may have laughed at your joke, and told you he saw something you said on Facebook. Hell, he may have even said he hopes to see you again. Unfortunately, actions always speak louder than words, and there are a few actions you should always bear in mind:
- Does he take you out on dates, or otherwise agree to meet you in a public setting?
- Does he remember things you mentioned on previous dates?
- Is he starting to recognize/pay attention to the things that are important to you?
- Does he offer to do something with/for you and *GASP* actually do it?
If the answer is no to most of these, you can spare me the caveats. It is time to look past the way he held your hand under the table at dinner. Only when you stop selling yourself short will you find a man who is capable of giving you everything you want and, more importantly, deserve.